Why God never got that RE job at University

1. He had only one major publication.

2. And it was in Hebrew.

3. He stated all his results without proofs.                                                                

4. And it had no references.

5. And it wasn't published in a refereed journal.

6. And some even doubt He wrote it himself.

7. His co-operative efforts have been quite limited.

8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.

9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.

10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.

11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.

12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the Book.

13. Some say he had his son teach the class.

14. He expelled his first two students for learning.

15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.

16. His tutorials were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.

17. He made his graduate students (Jesus and Muhammad) do all the work but did not list them as co-authors.

18. He also never explained why some graduate students, with low scores, were working for him in the first place.

19. He never presented his own results; he let his graduate students do all the presentations.

20. His data on creation of world in 6 days has been questioned.

21. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he published/done since?

22. He took the day off when his thesis was due to be completed, leaving the work unfinished.

23. His research, no matter how useful, was never approved.

24. He never replied to mail, phone calls, emails, etc when other researchers wanted technical data from him.

25. He never fully explained his reasons for Cliff Richard.

26. His image was hopelessly passé - I mean, a beard and sandals is just so 1960s.

QUESTION: Where do the characters go when I use my backspace or delete them on my PC?

ANSWER: The characters go to different places, depending on whom you ask:

* The Catholic Church's approach to characters: The nice characters go to Heaven, where they are bathed in the light of happiness. The naughty characters are punished for their sins. Naughty characters are those involved in the creation of naughty words, such as "breast," "sex" and "contraception."

* The Buddhist explanation: If a character has lived rightly, and its karma is good, then after it has been deleted it will be reincarnated as a different, higher character. Those funny characters above the numbers on your keyboard will become numbers, numbers will become letters, and lower-case letters will become upper-case.

* The 20th-century bitter cynical nihilist explanation: Who cares? It doesn't really matter if they're on the page, deleted, undeleted, underlined, etc. It's all the same.

* The Mac user's explanation: All the characters written on a PC and then deleted go straight to PC hell. If you're using a PC, you can probably see the deleted characters, because you're in PC hell also.

* Stephen King's explanation: Every time you hit the (Del) key you unleash a tiny monster inside the cursor, who tears the poor unsuspecting characters to shreds, drinks their blood, then eats them, bones and all. Hah, hah, hah!

* Dave Barry's explanation: The deleted characters are shipped to Battle Creek, Michigan, where they're made into Pop-Tart filling; this explains why Pop-Tarts are so flammable, while cheap imitations are not flammable. I'm not making this up.

* IBM's explanation: The characters are not real. They exist only on the screen when they are needed, as concepts, so to delete them is merely to de-conceptualize them. Get a life.

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